Don't refuse to be what you are.
[quotation from 'Pointers from Nisargadatta Maharaj' by Ramesh Balsekar, page 204]
[ ] "That which you are, your true self, you love it, and whatever you do, you do for your own happiness. To find it, to know it, to cherish it is your basic urge. Since time immemorial you loved yourself, but not wisely. Use your body and mind wisely in the service of the self, that is all.
Be true to your own self, love your self absolutely. Do not pretend that you love others as yourself. Unless you have realized them as one with yourself, you cannot love them. Dont pretend to be what you are not, dont refuse to be what you are. Your love of others is the result of selfknowledge, not its cause. Without self-realization, no virtue is genuine.
When you know beyond all doubting that the same life flows through all that is, and you are that life, you will love all naturally and spontaneously. When you realize the depth and fullness of your love for yourself, you know that every living being and the entire universe are included in your affection. But when you look at any thing as separate from you, you cannot love it for you are afraid of it. Alienation causes fear and fear deepens alienation. It is a vicious circle. Only self-realization can break it. Go for it resolutely." [...]